Showing posts with label relationships. Show all posts
Showing posts with label relationships. Show all posts
Wednesday, 19 October 2016
5 steps to health and wellbeing
based on American college of preventative medicine.
if you want a free consultation toward achieving your optimal energy and confidence through improving your health contact me on my fcb page brunapura.
coach Bruna
Saturday, 26 March 2016
What are you healthy, wealthy, in fulfilling relationship but not happy??????
It is so often that we come across people that seems to have it all . They have all the money to live a good life, they are healthy sometimes with personal trainers and some half marathons under their belt, they are a good relationships. There people get to their 40 and wake up every days grumpy and unenergised, they can't wait to have big legless drink out with friends in pub to forget their noise in their head.
As a result their start looking for a cause to their happiness, some find it in their job some in their relationship until some more years and the process repeat it self.
The problem is there is not one solution, there are many solutions to many problems and you need to know where you are to find where you want to go and how to get there.
I find sometimes people say what is wrong with me , I have everything and am not happy?
I often say to people there is nothing wrong with you you just are not aware of some other believes and programming in your mind that you acquired from society and lack of some important knowledge when it comes to achieving and preserving happiness.
1. First important fact.
Know thye self- Socrates
If during you time growing up you picked up that status is very important and you need to follow a degree that gives you status and is well payed is great. if all the time you keep mindful of all the other needs, needs for connection with friends, need to grow and keep you mind curios and alive and the need give back to society than the life will still be in balance. Stephen Covey on his various books mentions the need to feed our mind, body and soul.
2. Looking a A. Maslow hierarchy of needs as to how to be happy. Unfortunately only 2% of population in the USA are happy and fulfilled. In the richest country in the world only 2% are happy? Unfortunately the GDP measures the amount of money not the happiness.
image
I will I know this when i was planning my career or use to be happy and content truly we need to get to self- actualisation. having a great home, great spouse, childrens and money is not enough. We need to give to create and contribute.
3. Third important fact.
Happiness can be measured, can be studied and needs daily or weekly practices. There is an amazing field called positive psychology that started flourishing 10years ago.
a. write gratitude journal. once a week initially for 6weeks has proven great benefit.
b. savouring moments of blissfulness, like having a tea, coffee, walking park, playing with children's.
c. write a thank you note to somebody that help you some time before that you did not thank properly before and better read it in person.
Another way that i found from Gretchen Rubin fans page is.
In order to be happy you must AACT
A-Anticipate with pleasure
A-Appreciate the moment
R-Relate your happiness to others
T-Tell others of your experience
4. We need to savor happiness when we find it to avoid " hedonic adaptation".
You bought the 3 bed house you wanted you have enough space, garage and you studio it makes you exstatic. After 2 years living in it the happiness seems to fade, is not the same.
WHY? WHY? WHY?
because we are human and we are build this way. This is called Hedonic adaptation.
we adapt to positive and negative events , things are horrible when they happen but 2-3m lated we adjust. Goal are amazing when we reach them but then we adjust. I went to one of A. Robbins events and he suggested the point of Big goals is not just to reach them , the point is what we have to become to reach them.
5. The midlife crisis is not a bad thing. WHAT?
YES. Midlife crisis is a good thing.
People rush to the doctor to get a quick pill to change their state , or to the pub for a drink or smoking/ eating incessantly and miss the lesson to be learned from it.
I was listening once to Earl Nightingale explaining how he responded to people going through mid-life crisis. " Good for You" - the universe or you inner self how you want to call it is letting you know that you are off course and is giving you a shake to straighten the course.
Is the best time to wake up and live the life that truly makes you happy if you bear the pain and don't damage you head, health in the process.
As a result their start looking for a cause to their happiness, some find it in their job some in their relationship until some more years and the process repeat it self.
The problem is there is not one solution, there are many solutions to many problems and you need to know where you are to find where you want to go and how to get there.
I find sometimes people say what is wrong with me , I have everything and am not happy?
I often say to people there is nothing wrong with you you just are not aware of some other believes and programming in your mind that you acquired from society and lack of some important knowledge when it comes to achieving and preserving happiness.
1. First important fact.
Know thye self- Socrates
If during you time growing up you picked up that status is very important and you need to follow a degree that gives you status and is well payed is great. if all the time you keep mindful of all the other needs, needs for connection with friends, need to grow and keep you mind curios and alive and the need give back to society than the life will still be in balance. Stephen Covey on his various books mentions the need to feed our mind, body and soul.
2. Looking a A. Maslow hierarchy of needs as to how to be happy. Unfortunately only 2% of population in the USA are happy and fulfilled. In the richest country in the world only 2% are happy? Unfortunately the GDP measures the amount of money not the happiness.
image
I will I know this when i was planning my career or use to be happy and content truly we need to get to self- actualisation. having a great home, great spouse, childrens and money is not enough. We need to give to create and contribute.
3. Third important fact.
Happiness can be measured, can be studied and needs daily or weekly practices. There is an amazing field called positive psychology that started flourishing 10years ago.
a. write gratitude journal. once a week initially for 6weeks has proven great benefit.
b. savouring moments of blissfulness, like having a tea, coffee, walking park, playing with children's.
c. write a thank you note to somebody that help you some time before that you did not thank properly before and better read it in person.
Another way that i found from Gretchen Rubin fans page is.
In order to be happy you must AACT
A-Anticipate with pleasure
A-Appreciate the moment
R-Relate your happiness to others
T-Tell others of your experience
4. We need to savor happiness when we find it to avoid " hedonic adaptation".
You bought the 3 bed house you wanted you have enough space, garage and you studio it makes you exstatic. After 2 years living in it the happiness seems to fade, is not the same.
WHY? WHY? WHY?
because we are human and we are build this way. This is called Hedonic adaptation.
we adapt to positive and negative events , things are horrible when they happen but 2-3m lated we adjust. Goal are amazing when we reach them but then we adjust. I went to one of A. Robbins events and he suggested the point of Big goals is not just to reach them , the point is what we have to become to reach them.
5. The midlife crisis is not a bad thing. WHAT?
YES. Midlife crisis is a good thing.
People rush to the doctor to get a quick pill to change their state , or to the pub for a drink or smoking/ eating incessantly and miss the lesson to be learned from it.
I was listening once to Earl Nightingale explaining how he responded to people going through mid-life crisis. " Good for You" - the universe or you inner self how you want to call it is letting you know that you are off course and is giving you a shake to straighten the course.
Is the best time to wake up and live the life that truly makes you happy if you bear the pain and don't damage you head, health in the process.
Friday, 25 March 2016
3 steps of how to nurture relationship for happiness .
Are you happy in you relationship and you have been together for more than 2 years ? yes , great well done.
If your answer is No. Don't loose hope ,there is many things you can do and these 3 are the most studied and publicised.
1. change the way how you respond to you partners great news. There are 4 ways we respond to great news Active constructive, passive constructive, active destructive and passive destructive. the one that has shown to work is active constructive.
For example partner got back from work exited and thrilled honey I finally called my boss and asked for that raise and they gave it to me. the best support answer will be to ask for all the details in a curios manner, like , how did that happen? what did you exactly sad? where were you? what did he say? is he giving you more responsibilities? how does that make you feel?
answering with passive constructive option- that's great does not show support.
image
2. Help you partner achieve her or his ideal self. Know their dreams and be involved in them. there is a famous quote
"Look at a man the way that he is, he only becomes worse. But look at him as if he were what he could be, then he becomes what he should be." - Goethe
When our partners affirms us and helps us move closer to our ideal self we feel happier and vital. if you married an introvert give small parties and encourage him to tell his most favourite stories and let hime talk that will boost his confidence and hime being happy will have ripple effect on you.
image
3. the incredible effect of touch, non-sexual and sexual between partners.
this effect you studied thoroughly by John Bowlby last century in babies and their confidence that grew when mother was close to them. This was what he missed him self as he send to boarding school and he was determined to show the side effects of young children in this school far from parents love and hugs.
Studies show that simple touch can activate reward regions of our brains, reduce the amount of stress hormone and diminish physical pain. this studies imply that touch is like a drug, we get a high of happiness and reduced discomfort and stress.
image
We are complicated individuals with different needs and at the base of happiness is being happy with who we are , where we are and with what we are doing.
start with 10 big breaths and a 10min brisk walking.
have a great easter everybody.
B
The passage idea is taken from the book " the Myth of happiness"- by SonJa Lyubomirsky
If your answer is No. Don't loose hope ,there is many things you can do and these 3 are the most studied and publicised.
1. change the way how you respond to you partners great news. There are 4 ways we respond to great news Active constructive, passive constructive, active destructive and passive destructive. the one that has shown to work is active constructive.
For example partner got back from work exited and thrilled honey I finally called my boss and asked for that raise and they gave it to me. the best support answer will be to ask for all the details in a curios manner, like , how did that happen? what did you exactly sad? where were you? what did he say? is he giving you more responsibilities? how does that make you feel?
answering with passive constructive option- that's great does not show support.
image
2. Help you partner achieve her or his ideal self. Know their dreams and be involved in them. there is a famous quote
"Look at a man the way that he is, he only becomes worse. But look at him as if he were what he could be, then he becomes what he should be." - Goethe
When our partners affirms us and helps us move closer to our ideal self we feel happier and vital. if you married an introvert give small parties and encourage him to tell his most favourite stories and let hime talk that will boost his confidence and hime being happy will have ripple effect on you.
image
3. the incredible effect of touch, non-sexual and sexual between partners.
this effect you studied thoroughly by John Bowlby last century in babies and their confidence that grew when mother was close to them. This was what he missed him self as he send to boarding school and he was determined to show the side effects of young children in this school far from parents love and hugs.
Studies show that simple touch can activate reward regions of our brains, reduce the amount of stress hormone and diminish physical pain. this studies imply that touch is like a drug, we get a high of happiness and reduced discomfort and stress.
image
We are complicated individuals with different needs and at the base of happiness is being happy with who we are , where we are and with what we are doing.
start with 10 big breaths and a 10min brisk walking.
have a great easter everybody.
B
The passage idea is taken from the book " the Myth of happiness"- by SonJa Lyubomirsky
Sunday, 6 December 2015
Hour of power statements
These are great agreement from Book of Don Miguel Ruis- The four agreements.
I started this journey to help my self to remind my self of how to have a great life and live in the moment. Sometimes we don't have the environment to support us in our journey so I found books a great companion.
I am constantly reading and improving my self and although sometimes I break the rules , i revisit the situation again and see things through again.
This is the best time of my life for me, my family and I hope I can influence even if a little to yours.
1. Don't gossip , complain or criticize.
Your world is the most powerful you have.
Use it to bring somebody up and the world will be a better place.
image
2. Do not take anything personally.
Imagine you are driving in the road and didn't start the car when the light was green. How people treat you is a projection of who they are and how they are feeling. You can do the same thing everyday and only some people will start screaming and swearing to you, despite beeing a nuisance to many people.
3. Don't make assumptions. When you have people working for you or with you and things did not go as you expected, learn to ask question get clarification as to the reason. Don't assume anything. I remember in one of Dr Stephen Covey books when tell the story of Once he was in the train and a father with 3 children got in. The childrens were making a real mess and the father was only staring at the floor with saying a world. At that moment Stephen got a bit tense and asked him as to did he not see that his childrens were making a mess. At that moment the father said that their young mother had just died in the hospital and he didn't know what to do either. Next time you have a story in you head ask the other person to clarify and you will be better informed.
4. Always do your best, no body abuse us more that we abuse our self.
Have a great day
I will live you with the Toastmaster championship 2015. The winner say it better than me.
I started this journey to help my self to remind my self of how to have a great life and live in the moment. Sometimes we don't have the environment to support us in our journey so I found books a great companion.
I am constantly reading and improving my self and although sometimes I break the rules , i revisit the situation again and see things through again.
This is the best time of my life for me, my family and I hope I can influence even if a little to yours.
1. Don't gossip , complain or criticize.
Your world is the most powerful you have.
Use it to bring somebody up and the world will be a better place.
2. Do not take anything personally.
Imagine you are driving in the road and didn't start the car when the light was green. How people treat you is a projection of who they are and how they are feeling. You can do the same thing everyday and only some people will start screaming and swearing to you, despite beeing a nuisance to many people.
3. Don't make assumptions. When you have people working for you or with you and things did not go as you expected, learn to ask question get clarification as to the reason. Don't assume anything. I remember in one of Dr Stephen Covey books when tell the story of Once he was in the train and a father with 3 children got in. The childrens were making a real mess and the father was only staring at the floor with saying a world. At that moment Stephen got a bit tense and asked him as to did he not see that his childrens were making a mess. At that moment the father said that their young mother had just died in the hospital and he didn't know what to do either. Next time you have a story in you head ask the other person to clarify and you will be better informed.
4. Always do your best, no body abuse us more that we abuse our self.
Have a great day
I will live you with the Toastmaster championship 2015. The winner say it better than me.
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