3 steps of how to nurture relationship for happiness .

Are you happy in you relationship and you have been together for more than 2 years ? yes , great well done.

If your answer is No. Don't loose hope ,there is many things you can do and these 3 are the most studied and publicised.

1. change the way how you respond to you partners great news. There are 4 ways we respond to great news Active constructive, passive constructive, active destructive and passive destructive. the one that has shown to work is active constructive.

For example partner got back from work exited and thrilled honey I finally called my boss and asked for that raise and they gave it to me. the best support answer will be to ask for all the details in a curios manner, like , how did that happen? what did you exactly sad? where were you? what did he say? is he giving you more responsibilities? how does that make you feel?
answering with passive constructive option- that's great does not show support.

    

                                                              image
2. Help you partner achieve her or his ideal self. Know their dreams and be involved in them. there is a famous quote
"Look at a man the way that he is, he only becomes worse. But look at him as if he were what he could be, then he becomes what he should be." - Goethe
When our partners affirms us and helps us move closer to our ideal self we feel happier and vital. if you married an introvert give small parties and encourage him to tell his most favourite stories and let hime talk that will boost his confidence and hime being happy will have ripple effect on you.

 

                                               image



3. the incredible effect of touch, non-sexual and sexual between partners.
 this effect you studied thoroughly by John Bowlby last century in babies and their confidence that grew when mother was close to them. This was what he missed him self as he send to boarding school and he was determined to show the side effects of young children in this school far from parents love and hugs.

Studies show that simple touch can activate reward regions of our brains, reduce the amount of stress hormone and diminish physical pain. this studies imply that touch is like a drug, we get a high of happiness and reduced discomfort and stress.

                                        image



We are complicated individuals with different needs and at the base of happiness is being happy with who we are , where we are and with what we are doing.

start with 10 big breaths and a 10min brisk walking.

have a great easter everybody.

B


The passage idea is taken from the book " the Myth of happiness"- by SonJa Lyubomirsky