I don't know about you, but I'm a bit of a worrier. I sometimes worry about the most mundane things and let them get out of proportion where someone else would hardly give these things a second thought.
If you're like me then you probably think about upcoming situations and imagine the worst case scenarios in full and glorious technicolour! And not only that, you'll go over and over slightly differing versions of this scenario in your head distracting you for quite large amounts of time.
Worrying does serve a purpose to an extent in that it makes you consider the possible outcomes of an impending situation or event which then gives you the opportunity to consider it and to prepare for it the best that you can. But as worriers, we have difficulty accepting the inevitable levels of uncertainty that we will always face in life and will spend unnecessary amounts of time and energy worrying about things we can't influence.
When worrying gets out of hand it can lead to:
- high levels of stress and anxiety
- insomnia
- irritability
- ill health
- so it's important to learn to control the degree of worrying that we indulge in.
Here are 9 tips to help you stop worrying:
1. Distract yourself: don't sit there staring into space running through all the "ifs and buts" in your mind, get up and do something productive, this will help distract you from worrying as and a result will reduce your levels of stress.
2. Talk about it: if there is someone understanding you can talk to, then talk to them but make sure this person is level headed and the type of person that is likely to offer some positive help, NOT someone who will make your worrying worse by thinking of all the bad scenarios that YOU haven't thought of yet!
3. Take action: if you can do something to help the outcome to be favourable to you, then do it, for example, if you are going to an interview, prepare well, think about the questions you may be asked and how you will answer them. Research the company; who are they, what do they do?
4. Assess whether you want or need to do to the thing that is worrying you - some worries we can remove fairly simply and if you have made a decision to do something which is now scaring you senseless, them you can opt out. But you have to assess whether it's better for you in the long term if you don't do it or if you'll really benefit if you "Feel the Fear And Do It Anyway"
5. Don't waste time worrying about things that you can't change, for example:
i) if you've already been to an interview then you won't be able to change the outcome now. Be constructive and take time to consider a "Plan B" that you can use if you don't get the result you want and then and then distract yourself from thinking about it as much as possible until you find out the outcome.
ii) Don't keep beating yourself up if you are short but wish you were tall - there's nothing you can do about it so put your energies elsewhere. Ask yourself: "What is the point in worrying about something like that?" and really try and answer the question. You won't be able to, because there is NO POINT, you can't change your height by fretting about it. Concentrate on things you can change.
6. Break it down: analyse what it is that you are actually worrying about, sometimes with all the worries swirling about in our minds we're not even that clear what we actually think will happen, why and what the result of it could be, we're just simply panicking. Once you've identified what the specific worry is about you'll be more able to rationalise it and therefore deal with it more easily. You then have two options:
- ease or solve it if you can
- accept it if you can't
7. Accept that there will always be uncertainty in our lives and that we can't control everything.
8. Don't recycle the past - just because you had a bad experience doing something once it doesn't mean you'll repeat that experience. If that were the case how would we learn to swim or ride a bike?
9. Postpone your worrying: get a piece of paper and a pen and write down your worry and tell yourself that you'll think about it later. Your can comfort yourself that you will still be giving this matter your time and attention, but just not now. Now you have the opportunity to use your time more productively. With any luck, by the time you go back to the worry its intensity may have faded or the problem may have resolved itself.
Helen is the author of the Richer Life Bulletin. The Richer Life Bulletin provides regular relevant information, tips and support with the aim of helping people who want to improve their lives. It is sent out free of charge. http://www.richerlifebulletin.com/
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