3 main coping mechanism for stress that will save you years of heart ache.

Life has many triggers and stresses and the way for us to live a better life is to understand how to cope, to build our coping mechanism that is powerful and serving is.
If you are hoping that life will be easy and there is no problems on the way then you are in for a big disappointment.
We all have heard saying,
is not about how ofter your falling but about rising after the fall,
Life is not a destination but a journey
and we rarely pay attention.

Many researches have looked into optimist and pessimist and have found massive change  in the way they cope with stress.
It is true pessimist are more accurate into how things are but on the other side that is a disadvantage as they don't find motivation to explore into it, all invention have come about through trial and error if we relied on what we know we would have never evolved into the present. Creator and innovator were dreamers and believers and persistent in their pursuit.
Charles Holahan and Rudolph Moos ( 1987) assessed 3 strategies.
The first 2 are used more by optimist and the 3 one by pessimist.

1. Active-cognitive strategies
They take one thing at a time
pray for guidance and strength
tried to see the positive side of things
consider several alternatives for handling the issue
go over the situation to try to understand the issue but not ruminate without blaming or putting guilt
put them self in a observer seat to try to understand better
drew strength from past positive experiences

                                            image

2. Active -behaviour strategies
Try to find out more information about the situation
Talked with a professional doctor, coach, therapist
Bargain or compromised to get sth positive from the situation
Made a plan of action and followed-it
Get busy with other things to keep the mind off the issue
Knew what needed to be done and tried  harder to make things work
Tried to reduce tension by exercising more

3. Avoidance strategies
Try to reduce tension by drinking more/ smoking more
Try to reduce tension by eating more
took it out on people when felt angry or distressed
try to reduce tension by using tranquilizing drugs
avoid people
refused to believe that is happened.

                                                image

It look obvious that the more positive and empowering strategies you use the better you will feel and the easier you will find life challenges.

Research have linked optimism to psychological and physical well-being.
Although unrealistic optimism can disappoint and even endanger , flexible optimism is an energizer and fosters effective problem solving

Take LIFE ORIENTATION TEST - LOT-r on line and see if you are a optimist or pessimist.

exercise
Close you eyes and think of you future. Draw the first image that comes to your mind..........................................................make it colorful, nice colour , enjoy.


book. Pursuing human strengths- by MARTIN BOLT